Inside her Labyrinthine Mind
by acreepyguyinawhitevan
Summary: Alaska begins the search for herself, as this story is Looking for Alaska in Alaska's point of view. Rated T for language.


**Inside her Labyrinthine Mind**

_Knock!_

I heard the rap of the Colonel's single-knocking knuckles against room 48's door. Well, at least I assumed it was the Colonel. It doesn't matter though - second-guessing isn't _me. _"Oh my god come in here you short little man because I have the best story," I yelled with questionable confidence. But that's _me_ too, complete certainty in abnormal situations.

To my surprise, the Colonel wasn't alone. A scrawny, brown-haired boy stumbled into my room after him. He looked thankful to have someone to lead him places, like he wouldn't do well on his own. While his shorts sagged tremendously around hips that were almost thinner than mine, the Colonel told him off for trying to close the door. Well, I guess it was after seven, but now was not the time to get fucked over by the rules at Culver Creek again.

Despite my curiosity towards the new boy (who was almost drooling at me), I decided to continue with my story for the Colonel. "So first day of summer, I'm in grand old Vine Station with this boy named Justin and were at his house watching TV on the couch – and mind you, I'm already dating Jake – actually I'm still dating him, miraculously enough, but Justin is a friend of mine from when I was a kid and so we're watching TV and literally chatting about the SATs or something, and Justin puts his arm around me and I think, _Oh that's nice, we've been friends for so long and this is totally comfortable,_ and we're just chatting and then I'm in the middle of a sentence about analogies or something and like a hawk he reaches down and he honks my boob. _HONK._ A much-too-firm, two- to three-second _HONK._ And the first thing I thought was _Okay, how do I extricate this claw from my boob before it leaves permanent marks? _and the second thing I thought was _God, I can't wait to tell Takumi and the Colonel."_

While the Colonel chuckled at my ever-so-funny story, the new boy just scrutinized me with a deer-in-the-headlights look in his curious eyes.

Though he was cute, it was slightly unsettling with his hungry eyes inspecting my every curve so I decided to end it with, "Who's the guy that's not laughing at my very funny story?" I directed at the Colonel.

"Oh, right," the Colonel remembered. "Alaska, this is Pudge. Pudge memorizes people's last words. Pudge, this is Alaska. She got her boob honked over the summer."

Wanting to rattle the cute new Pudge a little further, I walked over to him with my hand extended, as if I wanted to shake hands. Then, at the last minute, I moved my hand downward and tugged at the bottom of his very baggy shorts. "Those are the biggest shorts in the state of Alabama!" I exclaimed.

"I liked them baggy," Pudge nervously replied, his face flushed pink as he yanked his trousers back to his waist.

"So far in our relationship, Pudge, I've seen your chicken legs entirely too often," the Colonel stated, probably referring to something that happened earlier today that – I shivered – involves nudity between almost-strangers. Then, he proceeded to buying (or making Pudge purchase for him) a pack of Marlboro Lights. I agreed to smoke with them after I informed Takumi of The Honk.

After leaving the Colonel and Pudge at the beach, I was off to find Takumi. Assuming he would be unpacking his Asian shit, I headed to his room with my worn flip-flops padding on the hot and humid grass.

I spotted Takumi under the arch of his doorway. "TAKUMI!"

"ALASKA!"

I ran up the small hill to meet my friend. "The craziest thing happened to me on the first day of summer," I began, then proceeded with the tale of Alaska Young and The Honk.

Takumi laughed. "So did you make out after that or what?"

Slapping him playfully on the shoulder I cried, "No! I love Jake and I would never cheat!"

Takumi gave me a sly smirk. "Well that's a first."

"Ha-ha." After a brief pause, I said, "the Colonel has a new roommate."

"Oh really? Have you met him? Is he normal?"

"Yeah. He's definitely one of us."

I headed back to the beach after my talk with Takumi. The sun was setting and it was the most beautiful time of day when everything is bathed in orange light but not nasty gross orange just delicate and dazzling sunset orange.

When I arrived at the beach, Pudge was swatting bugs away with one hand and enjoying a smoke with the other. "So do you really memorize last words?" I questioned, starting him. Then, I sat down beside his on the porch swing.

"Yeah," he replied hesitantly. I could tell he was trying to act cool in front of me. "Do you want to quiz me?"

"JFK," I said.

"That's obvious," Pudge said, cockily.

"Oh is it now?" I replied, slightly condescendingly but still admiring his confidence.

"No. Those were his last words. Someone said, 'Mr. President, you can't say Dallas doesn't love you,' and the he said, 'That's obvious,' and then he got shot."

A short laugh escaped my mouth. "God, that's awful. I shouldn't laugh. But I will," and then I laughed again. "Okay, Mr. Famous Last Words Boy. I have one for you." Then I reached down into my jean, overflowing backpack to find my book. "Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The General in his Labyrinth. Absolutely one of my favorites. It's about Simon Bolivar. It's a historical novel, so I don't know if this is true, but in the book, don't you know what his last words are? No you don't. But I am about to tell you, Senor Parting Remarks." Before I told him though, I lit a cigarette and sucked it long and hard but not nearly as impressively as I could've.

Jesus, the boy really couldn't keep his eyes from my lips. I had Pudge right in the palm of my hand – where I liked him. It was as if I had him on a dog leash, yanking him everywhere, yet he still followed me. Exhaling, I read to him:

"'He' – that's Simon Bolivar – 'was shaken by the overwhelming revelation that the headlong race between his misfortunes and his dreams was at that moment reaching the finish line. The rest was darkness. "Damn it," he sighed. "How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!"'"

Pudge was satisfied, I could tell. "So what's the labyrinth?" he asked me.

That night, there was only a slit of a moon in the sky, so I could only really make out Pudge's thin features when he lit up. Yet, his silhouette was quite striking.

I leaned in close to Pudge's face and whispered so softly only we and the porch swing could hear: "That's the mystery, isn't it? Is the labyrinth living or dying? Which is he trying to escape – the world, or the end of it?"

There was a brief pause after that. It wasn't awkward though, it was beautiful with the sharp moonlight dousing the beach it silver and white.

"Uh, I don't know," he said finally. "Have you really read all those books in your room?"

I snorted at that, but the guy deserved at least a little honesty tonight. "Oh God no. I've maybe read a third of 'em. But I'm _going to_ read them all. I call it my Life's Library. Every summer since I was little, I've gone to garage sales and bought all the books that looked interesting. So I always have something to read. But there is so much to do: cigarettes to smoke, sex to have, swings to swing on. I'll have more time for reading when I'm old and boring."

Pudge looked as if he was questioning my lifestyle choices, so I went on. "You remind me a bit of when the Colonel first came to Culver Creek. You both hadn't done much living before. Naturally, we became friends because we shared interest in booze and mischief."

I smirked as I lit a new cigarette from the butt of the previous one. "You're smart like him. Quieter, though. And cuter, but I didn't even just say that, because I love my boyfriend."

The abrupt compliment definitely surprised him. "Yeah, you're not bad either," he stuttered, obviously embarrassed. "But I didn't just say that, because I love my girlfriend. Oh wait. Right. I don't have one."

I laughed at that. "Yeah, don't worry, Pudge. If there's one thing I can get you, it's a girlfriend. Let's make a deal: You figure out what the labyrinth is and how to get out of it, and I'll get you laid."

"Deal."

I decided I like this Pudge kid.

Later that night, I walked back to the dorm circle with Pudge. The cicadas were humming loudly, and the stars were shining bright white. Feeling vulnerable, I breathed, "When you're walking at night do you ever get creeped out and even though it's silly and embarrassing you just want to run home?" _Why the fuck did I say that? _I thought immediately after I spoke.

Pudge didn't seem to notice my regret. "Yeah, totally," he admitted.

I paused. Then, acting on impulse, I grabbed his arm and whispered, "Run run run run run," and pulled his skinny ass behind me as I ran towards the dorm circle.

**Author's Note: First of all, the disclaimer: Anything you recognize from John Green's original novel is his, not mine. There, now that that's out of the way . . . Okay so that was basically just a test run, idk if I'm actually gonna go through with this story but ever since I read the book, I've been obsessed with Alaska so I just **_**had**_** to get inside her head. Please review and tell me if I should continue or not :)**


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